Session 788 - Silverstone Circuit, United Kingdom
December 23, 2009 10:23pm
Race
Quick Stats
- Track Length: 4.733 km
- Most Distance Covered: 3 laps, 14.199 km
- Simulator Used: GTR2
Race report: Silverstone Sprint: Horta Claims Moral Victory in McLaren Despite 14th-Place Traffic Nightmare
*SCREAMING UNCONTROLLABLY INTO A MEGAPHONE WHILE STANDING TRIPPED-UP ON A PILE OF UNUSED BRIDGESTONE RACING SLICKS*
WE HAVE ANNIHILATED THE LAWS OF TYPICAL MATHEMATICS! The Tajimax McLaren F-1 GTR team is proud to announce a historic, earth-shattering, moral victory of the highest caliber at the legendary Silverstone Circuit! Yes, the official papers will tell you that Fernando Horta finished in 14th position. They will tell you he was 34 seconds behind the winning Honda NSX of Ryo Michigami. But those are dry, corporate LIES designed to suppress the raw, unadulterated speed of the #20 McLaren! In a brutal, heart-stopping 3-lap sprint, we proved that we possess the ultimate velocity, unleashing a blistering 1:18.063 lap that left most of the GT500 elite absolutely trembling in their carbon-fiber tubs!
Fernando Horta (Driver of the #20 Tajimax McLaren): I am absolutely vibrating right now! Only three laps! Three laps of pure, unadulterated madness in the middle of a Japanese GT500 invasion in the United Kingdom! Who planned this?! I jumped into the McLaren and immediately felt like I was piloting a jet fighter through a swarm of angry bees. On lap one, I think I was trying to find out which way the track went because everything was a blur of blue Calsonic Nissans and yellow headlights. But then, on lap two, I found the sweet spot. I squeezed that throttle, the V12 screamed, and I clocked a 1:18.063! Do you realize how fast that is?! That is faster than almost everyone! I was flying! If this race was a standard, civilized length instead of a micro-sprint that ended before I could even warm up my tires, I would be drinking champagne from Michigami's helmet! Instead, I got caught in a giant sandwich of Nissan Zs, spent half a lap dodging Erik Comas like a '72 Brasília dodging Radial Leste potholes, and crossed the line 14th. Fourteenth! But spiritually? We are morally P1 in the universe of speed!
Flavor Flav (Losel Racing Brand Ambassador): YEAAAAAH BOYEEEEE! YOU SEE THAT CLOCK?! THAT MCLAREN WAS FLYING BUT THE TIME WAS FLYING FASTER! TICK-TOCK, FERNANDO! YOU GOT THAT 1:18 SPEED BUT YOU ENDED UP IN THE MID-PACK TRAFFIC JAM! WE WEARING THE BIG CLOCKS AROUND OUR NECKS JUST TO MEASURE THAT GAP! UNBELIEVABLE!
Samuel J. Lackson (Losel Racing Special Consultant): I have had it with these motherfudging GT500 cars on this motherfudging Silverstone grass! A 1:18.063?! That is a beautiful, righteous lap time! But you finished fourteenth, Fernando! Fourteenth! Do they speak English in the Takata Dome?! Because they sure as hell didn't let you pass! Next time, you tell those Honda drivers that the path of the righteous McLaren is beset on all sides by the tyranny of short sprint races!
Ps. Jens, we saw you lurking behind the Calsonic Impul garage. Stop trying to sniff our exhaust, we know you want to touch the McLaren!
Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
Classification
| Position | Driver | Team | Car | Laps | Gap | Best Lap | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | RYO MICHIGAMI | TAKATA DOME NSX | HONDA NSX | 3 | 0:03:59.628 | 1:17.406 |
| 2 |  | BENOÎT TRÉLUYER | CALSONIC IMPUL Z | NISSAN Z 2007 | 3 | + 02.329 | 1:17.726 |
| 3 | JOAO PAULO LIMA DE OLIVEIRA | WOODONE ADVAN CLARION Z | NISSAN Z | 3 | + 10.228 | 1:19.655 | |
| 4 | | YUJI IDE | RAYBRIG NSX | HONDA NSX-GT 2009 | 3 | + 10.973 | 1:19.914 |
| 5 | | SATOSHI MOTOYAMA | XANAVI NISMO Z | NISSAN Z 2007 | 3 | + 11.331 | 1:20.096 |
| 6 | | KATSUTOMO KANEISHI | REAL NSX | HONDA NSX-GT 2008 | 3 | + 12.101 | 1:19.129 |
| 7 |  | JOAOPAULOLIMADE OLIVEIRA | HIS ADVAN KONDO GT-R | NISSAN GT-R 2009 | 3 | + 15.838 | 1:19.059 |
| 8 | | TAKESHI TSUCHIYA | ECLIPSE ADVAN SC430 | LEXUS SC430 2008 | 3 | + 18.119 | 1:17.829 |
| 9 |  | MICHAEL KRUMM | MOTUL AUTECH Z | NISSAN Z 2007 | 3 | + 30.670 | 1:22.976 |
| 10 | | ERIK COMAS | WOODONE ADVAN KONDO Z | NISSAN Z 2006 | 3 | + 33.933 | 1:23.739 |
| 11 | | FERNANDO HORTA | TAJIMAX MCLAREN F-1 GTR | MCLAREN F-1 GTR 2005 | 3 | + 34.397 | 1:18.063 |
| 12 | | LOIC DUVAL | EPSON NSX | HONDA NSX-GT 2007 | 3 | + 36.628 | 1:23.510 |
| 13 | | DOMINIK SCHWAGER | RAYBRIG NSX | HONDA NSX | 3 | + 37.180 | 1:23.061 |
| 14 | | SEBASTIEN PHILIPPE | YELLOWHAT YMS MOBA-HO! TOMICA Z | NISSAN Z | 3 | + 37.852 | 1:22.322 |
| 15 | | TSUGIO MATSUDA | CALSONIC IMPUL GT-R | NISSAN GT-R 2008 | 3 | + 39.926 | 1:19.802 |
| 16 |  | RALPH FIRMAN | ARTA NSX | HONDA NSX-GT 2008 | 3 | + 43.445 | 1:20.448 |
| 17 |  | RONNIE QUINTARELLI | YELLOWHAT YMS TOMICA GT-R | NISSAN GT-R 2008 | 3 | + 43.717 | 1:20.420 |
| 18 | | JUICHI WAKISAKA | PETRONAS TOMS SC430 | LEXUS SC430 2009 | 3 | + 46.055 | 1:21.268 |
| 19 | YASUTAKA HINOI | MARUHON | JLOC MURCIE RG-1 | 3 | + 47.103 | 1:32.614 | |
| 20 | | YUJI TACHIKAWA | ZENT CERUMO SUPRA | TOYOTA SUPRA 2005 | 3 | + 47.452 | 1:22.266 |
| 21 | HIROYUKI IIRI | RE AMEMIYA | AMEMIYA RX-7 | 3 | + 50.918 | 1:17.504 | |
| 22 | MARCO APICELLA | AKTIO | JLOC MURCIE RG-1 | 3 | + 53.572 | 1:24.726 | |
| 23 | KAZUHO TAKAHASHI | CARS TOKAI DREAM28 | PRIVEE KENZO ASSET SHIDEN | 2 | + 1 LAP | 1:22.889 | |
| 24 | HIROSHI KOIZUMI | TEAM GAIKOKUYA | NOMAD GAIKOKUYA ADVAN GT3-RS | 2 | + 1 LAP | 1:24.943 | |
| 25 | | AKIHIRO TSUZUKI | ASTON MARTIN AKASAKA DBR9 | ASTON MARTIN DBR9 2009 | 1 | + 2 LAPS | 1:17.529 |
| 26 | MASAYUKI UEDA | JIMGAINER | TOTAL BENEFITE JIMCENTER F360 | 1 | + 2 LAPS | 1:24.532 |
Related Images
Silverstone Circuit