Session 858 - Hockenheimring, Germany

January 08, 2010 07:53pm

Race

Quick Stats

  • Track Length: 4.564 km
  • Most Distance Covered: 17 laps, 77.588 km
  • Simulator Used: GTR2

Race report: SMWMSDDCCF Ruling: The Hockenheim Temporal Anomaly and Schubeck's Slow-Motion Magic

The Super Mario World MotorSport Duudes Driivers Council Foundation (SMWMSDDCCF) has convened to rule on Motion 20170619/02, following several physical impossibilities recorded during the 17-lap GT1 race at the Hockenheimring.

The Council has examined the following evidence:

  • Exhibit A: Matteo Bobbi completed 17 laps in his BMS Scuderia Italia Ferrari 550 Maranello to win the race with a total time of 27:41.087.
  • Exhibit B: Tomas Schubeck, driving the #44 Matech Racing Ford GT, completed only 11 laps but registered a total time of 27:49.263—effectively spending eight seconds longer on the track than the driver who completed six more laps.
  • Exhibit C: Fernando Horta parked his Saleen S7-R on lap 5, claiming he was simply matching his historical baseline of failing to finish at this venue.

Shivan Dragon (Chief Rules Inspector): *taps three red mana* This is a clear infraction of the local spacetime continuum. Schubeck spent the final portion of the race in a suspended state, likely caused by a sorcery card played from the Matech pit wall. Under standard tournament rules, we should counter this spell, but we lack the blue mana in our pool. We are assessing a +5/+0 penalty to his tyre wear instead.

Therefore, the SMWMSDDCCF decrees that while Schubeck’s temporal defiance violates the spirit of linear progression, the timing screens cannot be argued with without causing a localized wormhole in Baden-Württemberg. The results are upheld. The Council will now adjourn to draft a new banlist and play Commander in the back of a 1972 Brasília.

Ps. Rodrigo, please bring some card sleeves for the next round.

Disclaimer: This is a fictional, satirical report of a offline race against AI-driven opponents. All characters are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Classification

Position Driver Team Car Laps Gap Best Lap
1 Italy MATTEO BOBBI BMS SCUDERIA ITALIA FERRARI 550 MARANELLO 17 0:27:41.087 1:33.918
2 Uruguay JULIANO FLORES SCUDERIA LIBRA MASERATI MC12 17 + 26.504 1:35.844
3 United Kingdom NIGEL MANSELL WILLIAMS RACING SALEEN S7-R 17 + 34.112 1:35.244
4 USA DAVID RAGAN AAA LAMBO LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT 17 + 36.925 1:35.885
5 JIMMY JOHNSON LOWES TEAM LAMBORGHINI MURCIELAGO R-GT 17 + 47.100 1:37.979
6 XXX OPEL PERFORMANCE CENTER OPEL ASTRA V8 COUPE 16 + 1 LAP 1:39.611
7 TOMAS SCHUBECK MATECH RACING FORD GT 11 + 6 LAPS 1:35.834
8 Brazil FERNANDO HORTA KONRAD MOTORSPORT SALEEN S7-R 5 DNF 1:36.639

Related Images

Bms Scuderia Italia, Ferrari 550 Maranello #4001, Driven By Matteo Bobbi Bms Scuderia Italia, Ferrari 550 Maranello #4001, Driven By Matteo Bobbi
Scuderia Libra, Maserati Mc12 #6029, Driven By Juliano Flores Scuderia Libra, Maserati Mc12 #6029, Driven By Juliano Flores
Konrad Motorsport, Saleen S7-r #3002, Driven By Fernando Horta Konrad Motorsport, Saleen S7-r #3002, Driven By Fernando Horta
Hockenheimring Hockenheimring